My Discombobulated Mind

<this post is courtesy a book I started reading, which is YA genre
and I guess it's all about "being with friends & happy">

From the day I started reading this book (which is yesterday), my mind can’t keep calm. It reminds me my best of times with MY friends.
I want to crawl back into years of memories and relive those moments when I had “good” friends, when I was “happy” (sort of).

There was a time, when Family & Friends meant the same thing to me. And I loved the feeling I got when I met/talk/text/chat with a friend even if it’s late at night or super early. I used to graze all day at other things, to be present in the moment after the chaos of the day ends when I will interact with my friends (mostly it was post midnights). It was MY online friends that saved my soul from going into anything mildly related to depression or sadness. I found them, and I found SMILE 🙂
Yes, that was it, a community where we people were always smiling or helping each other to Smile.

Not only online friends, I had real physically present friends too. And time with them used to FLY out too.

When I joined in my Intership, it was New City, New Life for me. Being an introvert, has always been the biggest barrier for me to start on a friendship and reach a level. But I was BLESSED, because people came and we became friends.

The after office walks, or the auto rides made my insane day sane. The midnight walks in Mhada Hills (yes, I lived in a place which had hills and it was beautiful and very silent at nights). I loved walking alone, or with my friends and sometimes roommates.

All this stuff, and talks, and walks, and promises, and happiness just unravelled my mind once I started reading the book in context and I wish I could relive those times.

Because now, people are busy with office, or personal life. Some having kids, some planning for kids, some getting married, some already moved to new Country. In Short Living LIFE as an adult.

Want to add line’s of a hindi song, that keep coming to my mind at this hour..

mein aur meri tanhai aksar yeh baatein kiya karte hai.. ki tum hote toh aisa hota.. ki tum hote toh waisa hota…

Before starting to write all this, I have thought, and thought and thought and cried for the misfortune I have now.
Because for approx 2 years, I have a very HARD choice in thinking people as friends and getting stabbed by them, or not caring enough.
Being Me is very difficult, I trust people and they think it’s cool enough to not think about me or just ignore me. If it had been maybe 15 years ago, I would have been OK with it. But now, as the time pass I need people to know what I am to them, what are they to me. And be real for once.

It’s an odd time to post on blog, but I just wanted it out of my system. And it doesn’t even matter that this post has grammatical errors, or people may think “what does she wants to say”. I just wanted it OUT, ON THE ONLINE WORLD. To let the Universe know that I still CARE, I do, and all I need is just minutes of “my” friends day/night time to acknowledge that I EXIST.

It is ALL OKAY!
And ALL will be OKAY!

Keep Smiling..
With luv,
..mpsn..nehuu..

Girls Like Us

Girls Like Us

by Elizabeth Hazen
Publisher: Alan Squire Press
Release Date:  March 2020

 

Girls Like Us is packed with fierce, eloquent, and deeply intelligent poetry focused on female identity and the contradictory personas women are expected to embody. The women in these poems sometimes fear and sometimes knowingly provoke the male gaze. At times, they try to reconcile themselves to the violence that such attentions may bring; at others, they actively defy it. Hazen’s insights into the conflict between desire and wholeness, between self and self-destruction, are harrowing and wise. The predicaments confronted in Girls Like Us are age-old and universal—but in our current era, Hazen’s work has a particular weight, power, and value.

I love reading poetry, and mostly I instantly feel them connected to me. But with Girls Like Us, it started slow I was confused at the beginning. But as I kept reading, & the poem’s came across as a rebel, and what WE (girls) go through most of our life. Called by names, Eyes those see us, Feeling we go through, Fears our mind has and Thoughts that keep us awake at nights.

I liked how different were each poem’s crafted, with different ideas portraying issues Girls/Women have. The book cover is exactly what the book talks about.

I like poems those rhyme, and this one has only one such poem. But still I quiet liked this whole book, and I would recommend whoever reads it, please read it like a “Spoken Poetry” because that way you will connect more to the poems and words. I realized this a bit later in 3-4th poem and after that, each poem spoke to me.

I would recommend these to everyone, who likes reading meaningful poetry that don’t naturally rhyme.

Moving Day

My mind’s
an emptied drawer, its clutter filed away.

Photograph

He left no trace
but an edge of shadow, the picture’s only flaw.

Driving Home at Dawn

Even now,
my fingertips tingle,
your name like a host
on my tongue.

Electricity

I lie until his
breath deepens and the ticking
clock becomes a heartbeat.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐  .5

Elizabeth Hazen is a poet, essayist, and teacher. A Maryland native, she came of age in a suburb of Washington, D.C. in the pre-internet, grunge-tinted 1990s, when women were riding the third wave of feminism and fighting the accompanying backlash. She began writing poems when she was in middle school, after a kind-hearted librarian handed her Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s A Coney Island of the Mind. She has been reading and writing poems ever since.

Hazen’s work explores issues of addiction, mental health, and sexual trauma, as well as the restorative power of love and forgiveness. Her poems have appeared in Best American Poetry, American Literary Review, Shenandoah, Southwest Review, The Threepenny Review, The Normal School, and other journals. Alan Squire Publishing released her first book, Chaos Theories, in 2016. Girls Like Us is her second collection. She lives in Baltimore with her family.

Follow Poetic Book Tours : Girls Like Us

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*I received an advance readers eBook copy of Girls Like Us, as part of Poetic Blog Tour in return of an honest review. 
The views are my own. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in 
final publication.*

….nothing….

I have been keeping out and suppressing my feeling on a matter that is very crucial in everyone’s LIFE.

We come crying, and when we leave we leave people crying. And I am not sure, if the life is worth living for this sadness.
I mean yaa sure, the cocktail of happiness and sadness is Life.. but what about when it ends ? Does it ever leave people behind any happiness? or they have to keep living with the HOPE that the person is in BETTER PLACE.

Well you know what is The Better Place for the deceased ?
Living with their near and dear ones.
Being part of the happiness, life give the new ones, and share the wisdom of being older.

Since last year, I have been in between sentimental turmoil for being around people who have lost their super near ones. It started November 2019 and since then I have read & many a time being part of the emotions we humans go thru.

My brother-in-law (jiju), lost his mother in November and I have been with my sister when they lost his father last year. And I was as heartbroken as my sister or jiju was.
My very very good friend from office, lost her dad in December and she was talking on phone to her dad when he stopped responding. I traveled to her home town to be with her, and stayed there for good amount of time to support & help her and family. Apparently she and her sister are married and both live outside India, so this was more than a setback what will her mother do about it. But aunty stayed strong, and said she will be living in same house for sometime and then think about what to do next.

Being in this turmoil since last year, I decided somewhere in later part of 2019 that I will be going to Jaipur Literature festival. To sooth myself from this sadness, and be around things I love. And in retrospect of it, I asked someone very CLOSE Book friend if they were going and how they were planning. Sadly the person never replied, but I was very strong in going to JLF 2020. So I planned out with my parents, to join me and they can have time spend in beautiful city and then we can visit Pushkar (a place from my childhood, that I simply love) & Bramhaji’s temple.
And all arrangements were made. And I was counting dates backward, for all the relief I will get in going out with my parents and to a place that will sooth me.

But as the date approached, exactly 4 days before I was planning to leave. My Nani (maternal grandmother) was admitted to ICU in a nearby hospital, as she was having trouble in taking breath. And she stayed in ICU 2 days, on 3rd day when they shifted her to general room I was totally broken about the Trip. I knew my mother will never let me cancel it, because I have been too much happy about the travel and everything. So on 3rd day I just without letting them know, cancelled the tickets. Come the 4th evening, my mom said come on start packing we will be leaving tomorrow morning. And I asked her, if she really wanted to go. even though it was a though situation for her, she said “woh ab theek hai, hum log wapis aa kar unko ghar pe milenge” (She is okay now, we will meet her at home once we are back). Then I told my parents that I had cancelled the trip already. They were pleased and sad about me. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS WAS ONE OF MY BEST DECISION IN LIFE.

Because on the day, we were about to traveled same night my nani got critical again and was shifted to ICU at 2am. She got shifted next day back to general ward.
I stayed with my nani at nights for 4 nights and even I am an insomniac there was something about hospital that forced me to sleep early than my regular time. But due to condition of nani a 24 alertness was required I had multiple coffee’s at night and came home in morning have a 1 1/2 hr sleep and join office.
I was so tired, and pissed that why no one else was asked to stay at night. But many of my cousins aren’t in India and those who are married with kids or just married so it left me and one of my cousin bro. But he got night shifts for office so all the burden was on me. Because not sleeping at night, and constantly talking to my nani, to massage on her head, rub her feet took lots of stamina and I didn’t want my aged aunties/uncle to go thru it.

And finally after consecutive 3 nights at hospital, my nani came back after 12 nights as doctors said she is okay but due to cold all the treatment they were giving in hospital can be continued in home too. My nani being a 88 years old kid, didn’t liked the idea of going back home because it meant my massi’s and everyone will stop coming to meet her. But before leaving hospital she made everyone promise to come and meet her like everyone did in hospital.
It was 2 days, she was back home and I went and met her on 2nd night at home and ask her how she was and all other questions. She was happy to see me, and we talked a lot. I and mom came back home around 11pm that night and my Maa was a bit disturbed (i wasn’t sure why). Next morning @ 6:15am we got call on our landline and as you can guess it was a call that broke our heart.

4th Feb 1990, 30 years ago we lost our Nanu(maternal grandfather), and on 4th Feb 2020, we lost out Nani(maternal grandmother)
We all were so numb about it, that we should be okay with this that our Nanu came to take our Nani and they were at THE HAPPY PLACE together. But what about us? Where is our happy place ? because people whom we love make our happy place and we just lost the oldest person we loved.
Another strange thing about all this was, what was supposed to be my Nani’s 89th Birthday we did her Kriya on 14th Feb 2020.

I wanted to write this post since 4th Feb 2020, BUT losing a family member isn’t easy and it will never get easy. Maa still unknowingly starts crying, and my dad couldn’t sleep at night that day and came to my mother and said that he lost his mother, as she was the only one since quiet some time now all we HAD.
Since the day, my nani got into hospital in ICU I had not for a second switched off lights in our Prayer room, and Maa finally switched it off on Brahman Bhoj saying she is at a good place now.
I am sure, that none will be reading this and I am writing it just to journalling my last few month’s into this post. But who made it till here, will surely be asking me. WHY TODAY I decided to write this. What actually triggered it.
Well it’s another death that happened in our neighborhood, the person was seriously ill and spend 20 days on Ventilator (those who don’t know what it is, it is the shittiest thing doctors can invent. I dislike this equipment so much, because I lost my grandfather due to this stupid machine. he wanted to say something, but alas this machine doesn’t give patient a chance to speak or do anything.)

Wondering again, if all this is worth it?
We study, We work, We eat, We Party, We Love, We Hate.
But all of this will lead all of us to ONE single STOP.

<this post is very very personal to me, as this post mentions the WORST fear I have.>

P.S. Grammar nazzi’s please stay out.

GoodBye 2019

Thanks everyone who were with me in 2019,
Wishing you Health and Happiness in 2020.

My year was filled with ups and down, more downs than ups.
With Family and very very Limited friends, I finish this year.
And in hope that the next year be a little more considerate on me and I teach myself some self love because that I surely need.
NOT to connect emotionally to people coming in my life through any social media, because they go soon enough. So better to be prepared then to cry on the loss.

I loved that my reading genre’s were expanded this year, and read many classics and award winning author’s. Not everyone made it to my favorites, but some did and I will cherish those books forever.

Happy New Year 2020 to YOU & Your Family..

..nehu..

 

The Broken Amoretti

Book : The Broken Amoretti
Author : Sudipto Das Aparajita Dutta
Pages : 296
Price : 380/-

In love nothing is right or wrong

Story

The novel is divided into two parts, WITH and WITHOUT. Both in reference to ? (you need to read it to know that 😉 )

WITH start’s with Parush, one of the protagnist (yes, ‘one of the’ because there are MANY) opens a diary. A Diary he hasn’t seen since long, a dairy that has a secret, world doesn’t know , a dairy that will unravel what LOVE is all about, a dairy that belongs to Parush’s ex love Bitasta’s mother, Panchali.

Saoli leaving her husband comes to India, to teach poetry at IIT KGP and is very much interested in subject related to Queer Theory. She meets Parushni who is also submitting her paper same day on Lesbianism.

How Saoli, get’s to know Parush and under what conditions?

Writing

This is my second read by author Sudipto Das, and I quite liked his The Aryabhatta Clan (the book had cryptic messages and a whole lot of thrill to decipher it).
The Blurb of The Broken Amoretti, gave me the same vibes, there will be a cryptic message and story will unravel it. However, I was disappointed in that a bit. I can’t review the story as whole, so I will divide it in two parts.

The Relevant :
I loved how the author started the setting up of characters, and their known/unknown love for a place called ‘prembajar’. There were references to great poets, and their poetries. The poetries were explained, giving the background of meter and everything. Which was new to me, and I liked it. This simply showed the research author did for getting these parts in the novel.

I loved how the author tried to fictionalize WHO was Panchali or stories about characters from Greek Mythology Artemis, Callisto and some more..

The story’s main aim was writing about how love has no boundaries and no gender, in a way that it was convincing. This was mainly done giving background’s of mythologies and many poetries.
But when I think back after completing it, it was just brushed up on the story. Later the story becomes something else, which makes me sad.

I loved the cover, it does have a deep meaning once you complete reading it.
The Random :
There were so many characters, each girl falling in love with Parush at some point. Why THOUGH? This was too cliche for me, and I didn’t like it. The love scene’s were written very shabby.

The story unraveled very soon, and felt like being dragged over many pages. The novel started with a mystery poem, went to the Love story of Parush and Batista, and then went straight out of context to gaming and the politics and what not. I felt trapped, and it was hard to follow why this was happening. And strangest of all, why did all the characters just end up at one place 😐 (too cliche again)

Final Note :

If the novel had been divided into three part’s instead of capturing too many good idea’s into one. I would have loved it, but the main motive of the novel felt lost in the first half the book. And came back in the last few pages back.

You can surely enjoy the book, if you are okay with subplots, and some cliches.
Poetry lovers will enjoy the first half of the book, because it is really well written. Gaming and technology enthusiast will love the second half of the book, because the story separately is very well written.

Cover: 4/5
Title: 3/5
Blurb: 2/5
Theme: 3/5
Story: 2/5
Characters: 1.5/5
Overall: 2.5/5

*-*-*-*-*-*-*Book Challenges*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Read this book, as part of
>> #bnbreadathon – Jul-Aug

Birthday Girl

Book : Birthday Girl
Author : Haruki Murakami
Pages : 48
Price : 61/-

Now I know why people like him forever, or don’t understand him forever.

Story

The story is about a girl who is celebrating her 20th Birthday. And there is no happiness to look around for her, and on top of it, she is said to deliver food to the owner of the restaurant (where she works as a waitress).
No one has seen the owner, and it’s been always the restaurant manager who delivered the food in the owner’s room. But today is different, and when she goes to deliver the food, it’s not the only thing that happens to her different today.

Writing

Before saying anything, I want to say that this was my first Murakami. Having heard so much about him over the years, this year I thought I would open my eyes to his writing. And when I ordered this one, I didn’t know it would be so small (length and size wise both). But in this 48 page story too, Murakami sir gave words that touched (see next section).

Loved his writing, it was mysterious and thrilling to finally reading him. I love the details and I seriously was messed up by reading “She…She” again. We could have been good enough and gave her a name too rite ?
Well anyways, the magical part left me with questions (and I don’t like hanging on to things). But seeing it is Haruki, we need to keep this is mind that he does keep his readers on edge.

Surely gonna pick up books on my shelf by Haruki Murakami now.

Words that touched

Bumpers are meant to be dented.

No matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves.

It’s as though something happened to make me think that things happened that never really happened at all.

Final Note :

If like me, you haven’t read him yet. This one is perfect to start with, it’s short and will give you a taste of Murakami’s writing.

Overall: 3.5/5 (I can’t give more than this, because I have expectations from the writer)

Keep your eyes on this one for the giveaway I will be hosting on my Instagram page.
Feel free to follow and jump in for giveaway. 
India only.

The Golden Record

Book : The Golden Record
Author : Naimesha Thakur
Pages : 253
Price : 249/-
Publication : LeadstartCorp

Travel to the fantasy world of writers.

Story

The story is about three generations of women, who likely or unlikely became a published writer. Their words made changes to the world, how it worked.
The protagonist, Mira Dev has just successfully launched her book and is on a tour with her best friend & best friend’s husband. The bracelet on her hand had four trinkets each for her personal accomplishment. And today fifth one will add to it, but she is on tour. Will she be able to add the trinket like she always does on the next day of her book launch?

Her grandmother Tina died a few years ago, and Mira’s mother Antara find similarities between her mother and her daughter. Will that mean anything in the story ?

What if there is an Island of writers, writers who can affect lives of people, but they can also make mistakes. Can mistake in a person’s like be rectified ? What is the role of Mira in all this?

To answer above questions, you need to read the book.
<writing spoiler free review for The Golden Record will be so difficult>

Writing

First book by Naimesha Thakur, and I am already a fan of the plot she used, the world she created, the characters she introduced.
The language is easy to read and understand. But the Island and the writer’s world can be a bit difficult to understand. There is SO MUCH information and yet I felt there should be some more about it.

I always imagined the Island of Writers, a blue meadow place.<hence the image>.

The characters are many, and they are given their share of place and plot to fill in their characteristics page by page. The character’s aren’t shady and are as we read them, one directional. There are a variety of characters, there are Periwinkle, Penchantress, CaRule and so many more.
<saying again, it’s so difficult to writer about this and make it a spoiler free.Umm!!>

Loved the idea of adding trinkets on special achievements (will surely think of something like this to do in real life).
Naimesha, has given an amazing description of how the “PROCESS” works. Still, I was confused, because there was lots of information thrown at me at a single time. I wish this was done in due time, given bits of information while the story proceeds.
The “Black Mistake” , I am curious to know what was it about ? I mean, <umm leave it. #spoilerFree remember>

Final Note:

Amazing book to build up a fantasy world around you, and you living in it. Totally recommend and these doesn’t have usual fantasy world of dragon’s and other creatures. Something new.

Cover: 3.5/5
Title: 3/5
Blurb: 3.5/5(blurb gives some of the things out)
Theme: 4/5
Story: 3.5/5
Characters: 3.5/5
Overall: 3.5/5

*This book review was provided by publishers in return of an honest review. The views are my own*

Jallianwala Bagh: Literary Responses in Prose & Poetry

Book : Jallianwala Bagh: Literary Responses in Prose & Poetry
Author : Rakhshanda Jalil
Pages : 227 pages
Edition : Hardcover
Price : 386/-

Even though History wasn’t anywhere near my favorite subjects in School, one event that had always haunted me since childhood was/is Jallianwala Bagh Massacre.
We all must have read about it in our history classes, but I never knew the backstory of Marcella Sherwood, or the crawl on your bellies Acts. We all knew, a madman named General Dyer gave his men orders to shoot on people who had assembled without any weapon to talk about THEIR NATION.

It’s 100 YEARS TODAY!

About Book

This book is divided into two part’s first talks about all those amazing fictional work written around the Event. You can read translated work of Saadat Hasan Manto, Khwaja Ahmad Abbas, Mulk Raj Anand and many more.
Each story, giving us different details of what happened on that evening.
I loved reading (snippet of) Massacre at Jallianwala Bagh by Stanley Wolpert, which talks about the committee of inquiry that was set on General Dyer for the Massacre. Though the final verdict didn’t make this book, but I surely now want to read the original.

Second part consists of those amazing weapon words in form of Poetry. As the massacre took place in Amritsar, there are many translated poems from Punjabi and some from Urdu.
Though I feel, some of them had left the essence of being a poem in translation but the core feeling still remains, the pain still remains.

Final Note:

Recommended to each one, to know the history of this day when a massacre ripped opened Mother earth on Baishaki (marks the beginning of the harvest season and birth of the Khalsa). The book actually opened my eyes on too many blinded spots I had as a child (e.g. the Marcella Sherwood, the crawl on your bellies Acts)

Any historical book is so difficult to rate, and this is no different.

Overall: 4.6/5★ (not 5 because poetry did let me down a bit)

I would like to thank Niyogi books, to send me a review copy in return of an honest review.

 

When I Had a Little Sister

Book : When I Had a Little Sister: The Story of a Farming Family Who Never Spoke
Author : Catherine Simpson
Pages : 367
Price : 1,158.00/-
Publication : Fourth Estate

Sad memoir written by authoress Catherine about her sister Tricia.

Story

The story starts with room view of Tricia, 46 years old, after she died. Her cigarette’s found in the bathroom, because that was the only place she allowed herself to smoke, to have a healthy life.

“When did she decide to die? Was it before midnight on Friday the 6^th, because she couldn’t face another night, or was it before dawn on Saturday the 7^th, because she couldn’t face another day?’

A question that makes the author think about how mental illness of her baby sister has finally made her choose death over living an unhappy life. Catherine started writing this family memoir on a fellowship at Hawthornden Castle in 2016 (three years after Tricia died).

Read the book to know the story of how a family kept mum about the taboos of mental illness and other social norms.

Writing

When I had a little sister is so personal to Catherine, and yet hats off to her for going through this experience and coming out as a winner (writer). The amount of memories author has shared may sometimes look like very descriptive, and in my case I felt wasn’t needed. But as this is from personal experience, the author made sure she covers everything from the way she felt.

The author talks a lot about her Mother, and it felt like she was still angry with her for all the part she played in “Growing them up”. There are sentences like ‘I was here and she was not’, that author said after her mother died and she got to see the jewellery box and everything that their mother have never let them touch. I was sadden at such references, being grown up with a close-knit family I feel sorry for the author and her sisters that they didn’t get the love they deserve.

Furthermore, in the story she talks about ancestors, who have moved after World War I and how the property and things in them (bed and other stuff) that were kept from generations of belonging year after year, needed to be destroyed and get away from. This saddens me again, because I live for “Old is Gold”, but at the same time having such things that can bring back sad memories are good to let go.

It was only later part in the book, that author has talked about Tricia and her going through mental illness. The way she was drawn towards people, and withdrew herself from them soon enough without a reason. There were times, when I could see/feel that Tricia wanted to say so much, but there was no one to understand here silence, and sometimes words. She kept away from here loved ones, and her loved ones left here alone too. In my experience, and what I know a person with mental illness is weaker at such points, when they want a company and there is no one to talk or share their thoughts with. Catherine, the author herself says that she wanted to reach out to Tricia but her kids (one of them are with special needs), and her own mental health didn’t allow her to do so.

I will again say, it is very brave of Catherine, the author that she has come out with a book that will help people who still think that mental illness is something to keep mum about. It’s about time that our educated people and kids that they can come and talk to their elders about anything and everything if they feel like it. Mental illness should be treated as another health issue, and not a thing with “give it time, it will be all okay”. It won’t be, talk to someone if you feel your mood swings a lot, talk to someone if you have dark thoughts.

I may not be the correct person to say this, but I guess this book can trigger to people who suffer through the same. Because it’s just so sad, made me cry for Tricia and her family.

Final Note:

It’s difficult to review and read a sad memoir by someone who has gone through a lot herself. And rate it on any scale, is like to rate someone’s life and what they have gone through.
Pick this one up, if you want to read something that talks about how families can be, and what mental illness can do to a person/family if not taken care beforehand.

Overall: 3.5/5

*Thanks to publishers for providing review copy in return of an honest review.*

 

A Cage of Desires

Book : Cage of Desire
Author : Shuchi Singh Kalra
Pages : 216
Price : 150/-
Publication : Penguin India

Women centric, but erotica.

Story

The story is about Renu, a house maker, who takes care of her children and father-in-law while her husband works outside city for a good income. Renu being a “good” daughter-in-law keeps in the limit set by her husband and in-laws. But are these the only desires, she has? To be a good wife? To be a good daughter-in-law?

Maya on the other hand, is a lady who has wooed men with her bold writings. She has authored the books, that people read at nights when the lights are closed. She is the one, desired by many men. And one of them is Renu’s husband.
Will these three ever get at a joint juncture? What will happen to their life then?

Arjun a good guy enters the story, and rents in the room at Renu’s house. Is he actually a good guy? While he is a successful person, he also is flawed with being a playboy. Will his nature turn around when he finds someone who will fulfill his desires?

Writing

The book puts forward a very strong message that, not all women are to be caged inside the boundary community has set. It also talks about the flaws, out society has of Men can desire any Women, but Women can’t even desire to be a Woman!The message is strong, but what I couldn’t get through were the erotic and bold contents of the book. I am not very fond of erotica, and that’s where the novel lost me. I paused 3 times to finish it up, due to the bold contents that took all the sense of the reader instead of story.

The language used is simple, but sometimes events are too descriptive. In starting the story had a mystery involved, but it too was short-lived. The cover of book and the title is such apt and I loved the cover that surely raised a curiosity about what we are going to read.

Let’s talk about Characters now,

Renu, our protagonist a housewife who desires to be something more. Completely lost me, once she entered a boundary where her desires can be very ill for her children. Yes, we live in a society where our children’s learn from us. So instead of being selfish, maybe she should have done something else to fill her desire.

Dev, his character is being etched very less and I craved to see more of him. He was ALWAYS away as a husband and is shown with the typical mindset of, Men can love anyone, but Women need permission to be herself.

Arjun, a character that I had eyed since the beginning. I thought, maybe he will be different, different from those shown in our “Bollywood” movies. But alas, my palace of dreams was shattered, when he became so intolerant that his character couldn’t justify why he did certain things. His actions changed so frequently, and made me confuse about was he to be pitied or angered on sometimes.

Mihir, one character that wasn’t required.

Akriti, has turned major events and yet her character wasn’t given that much light. She came in to support main characters and was lost again until they needed her again.

Children, well I would have loved to know, about what happened to children when Renu felt she wanted liberation, she wanted to be free from her being only a “housewife” tag. Renu’s closeness with her daughter is shown from the start, but I couldn’t see what she felt when she came to know WHY her parents did . In such situations children are the first one to get the most hit out of such situation. But till the end we don’t see them. Because we already read about them in Prologue that they are FINE!!

Didn’t find the use of Arjun coming back, and “those scene”.

If the author wanted to show that Women is not made to bind inside the walls of society and can do, feel whatever she desires. Then Mihir’s character was written just to oppose it. May be it would have made more sense, if she was shown happy on her own. Rather than binding her happiness, on another man. Which is again very contradicting to what the book stands for.

Things that worked out for me :

> The message book wanted to deliver, that everyone has a right to fly out and not cage inside societies boundaries.
> Language is simple and easy to understand.

Things that didn’t worked for me :

> Characters, I would have loved to see some characters more, and some not at all.
> Erotic content made is very difficult for me to read book in one sitting.

Final Note :

A women centric book, if you like erotic content and can read them then go for it.

Cover: 3/5
Title: 2.5/5
Blurb: 2.5/5
Theme: 2.5/5
Story: 2/5
Characters: 2/5
Overall: 2.4/5

*Thanks to Author for providing a review copy in return of an honest review.*
Sorry for the delay in posting review.