Girls Like Us

Girls Like Us

by Elizabeth Hazen
Publisher: Alan Squire Press
Release Date:  March 2020

 

Girls Like Us is packed with fierce, eloquent, and deeply intelligent poetry focused on female identity and the contradictory personas women are expected to embody. The women in these poems sometimes fear and sometimes knowingly provoke the male gaze. At times, they try to reconcile themselves to the violence that such attentions may bring; at others, they actively defy it. Hazen’s insights into the conflict between desire and wholeness, between self and self-destruction, are harrowing and wise. The predicaments confronted in Girls Like Us are age-old and universal—but in our current era, Hazen’s work has a particular weight, power, and value.

I love reading poetry, and mostly I instantly feel them connected to me. But with Girls Like Us, it started slow I was confused at the beginning. But as I kept reading, & the poem’s came across as a rebel, and what WE (girls) go through most of our life. Called by names, Eyes those see us, Feeling we go through, Fears our mind has and Thoughts that keep us awake at nights.

I liked how different were each poem’s crafted, with different ideas portraying issues Girls/Women have. The book cover is exactly what the book talks about.

I like poems those rhyme, and this one has only one such poem. But still I quiet liked this whole book, and I would recommend whoever reads it, please read it like a “Spoken Poetry” because that way you will connect more to the poems and words. I realized this a bit later in 3-4th poem and after that, each poem spoke to me.

I would recommend these to everyone, who likes reading meaningful poetry that don’t naturally rhyme.

Moving Day

My mind’s
an emptied drawer, its clutter filed away.

Photograph

He left no trace
but an edge of shadow, the picture’s only flaw.

Driving Home at Dawn

Even now,
my fingertips tingle,
your name like a host
on my tongue.

Electricity

I lie until his
breath deepens and the ticking
clock becomes a heartbeat.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐  .5

Elizabeth Hazen is a poet, essayist, and teacher. A Maryland native, she came of age in a suburb of Washington, D.C. in the pre-internet, grunge-tinted 1990s, when women were riding the third wave of feminism and fighting the accompanying backlash. She began writing poems when she was in middle school, after a kind-hearted librarian handed her Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s A Coney Island of the Mind. She has been reading and writing poems ever since.

Hazen’s work explores issues of addiction, mental health, and sexual trauma, as well as the restorative power of love and forgiveness. Her poems have appeared in Best American Poetry, American Literary Review, Shenandoah, Southwest Review, The Threepenny Review, The Normal School, and other journals. Alan Squire Publishing released her first book, Chaos Theories, in 2016. Girls Like Us is her second collection. She lives in Baltimore with her family.

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*I received an advance readers eBook copy of Girls Like Us, as part of Poetic Blog Tour in return of an honest review. 
The views are my own. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in 
final publication.*

Sparrow

Sparrow

by Mary Cecilia Jackson
Publisher: Tor Teen
Release Date: March 17th 2020

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary

In the tradition of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak, a devastating but hopeful YA debut about a ballerina who finds the courage to confront the abuse that haunts her past and threatens her future.

There are two kinds of people on the planet. Hunters and prey

I thought I would be safe after my mother died. I thought I could stop searching for new places to hide. But you can’t escape what you are, what you’ve always been.

My name is Savannah Darcy Rose.

And I am still prey.

Though Savannah Rose―Sparrow to her friends and family―is a gifted ballerina, her real talent is keeping secrets. Schooled in silence by her long-dead mother, Sparrow has always believed that her lifelong creed―“I’m not the kind of girl who tells”―will make her just like everyone else: Normal. Happy. Safe. But in the aftermath of a brutal assault by her seemingly perfect boyfriend Tristan, Sparrow must finally find the courage to confront the ghosts of her past, or lose herself forever….

Content Warning : Physical/Emotional Abuse

Sparrow is the story Savannah Darcy Rose, who loves & is a ballerina (hence the name), lives with her father and Aunt Sophie. Friends call Savannah as Sparrow, and I was amazed by the details of ballet that was put in. It sometimes looked like a wonderful painting in words.

The book is written from two POV’s one from Sparrow aka Savannah and the other is Lucas, one of her best friend, her ballet partner (also he is in love with her, because why not. A girl and boy can’t ever be just a friend, rite!? )

Sparrow in just few pages falls in love with Tristan “King” and decides she will love him no matter what. Because he is Handsome, and rich and…(well what more does a girl need, rite!?)
But Tristan is not what she thought, and he can be very brutally brutal. Even after her friends/family, trying to reach Sparrow and seeing Red Flags, she just walked down the road to disaster.
But wait, there are some other secrets Sparrow hasn’t shared with the world(us & her family). Lucas is a best friend, so surely he knows ALL ABOUT IT.

Want to know what the secret is ? Well sure, go ahead and grab the book.

The story has so many cliche’s that I was not that happy with the book.
But let’s get to the good things that I LOVED about this book.

Writing, I loved the poetic, lyrical way the author Mary wrote the book. There were so many sentences which I just loved because the so poetic.
Friendship, I love books that show very strong friendship (and I really don’t care that if one of them is in love with another).

There are few strong female character’s that I loved. One of them is Lucas’s Granny Deirdre , with age comes the wisdom can be so true to this character. I loved her, and she reminded me of my grandmother.
Dr. Gray < you need to read to know about her role > _i don’t want to give out spoilers :P_

I close my eyes, lost in the memory of the canvases lined up against my father’s bookshelves, drying on easels in the dining room, propped up against the windows in the living room, on the cushions of the window seat at the top of the stairs.

It’s like grief walks with you, sits beside you in calculus class, asks you to pass the salt at the dinner table.

The little ones still have so much hope, even when there’s no hope left to be had. That’s how they survive. That’s how they bear their sorrows.

Sometimes all we can do is watch and grieve. And that has to be enough.

If you want to help her, then do her the honor of believing she has the courage to mend herself.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐  .7

Mary Cecilia Jackson has worked as a middle school teacher, an adjunct instructor of college freshmen, a technical writer and editor, a speechwriter, a museum docent, and a development officer for central Virginia’s PBS and NPR stations. Her first novel, Sparrow, was an honor recipient of the SCBWI Sue Alexander Award and a young-adult finalist in the Writers’ League of Texas manuscript contest. She lives with her architect husband, William, in Western North Carolina and Hawaii, where they have a farm and five ridiculously adorable goats.

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Starts: 17th March 2020
Ends: 31st March 2020
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*I received an advance readers eBook copy of Sparrow, as part of FFB Blog Tour via Netgalley in return of an honest review. The views are my own.
All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.*

Jane Anonymous

Jane Anonymous

by Laurie Faria Stolarz
Publisher: Wednesday Books
Release Date: January 7th 2020

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary

Bestselling author Laurie Faria Stolarz returns with Jane Anonymous, a gripping tale of a seventeen-year-old girl’s kidnapping and her struggle to fit back into her life after she escapes.

Then, “Jane” was just your typical 17-year-old in a typical New England suburb getting ready to start her senior year. She had a part-time job she enjoyed, an awesome best friend, overbearing but loving parents, and a crush on a boy who was taking her to see her favorite band. She never would’ve imagined that in her town where nothing ever happens, a series of small coincidences would lead to a devastating turn of events that would forever change her life.

Now, it’s been three months since “Jane” escaped captivity and returned home. Three months of being that girl who was kidnapped, the girl who was held by a “monster.” Three months of writing down everything she remembered from those seven months locked up in that stark white room. But, what if everything you thought you knew―everything you thought you experienced―turned out to be a lie?

Content Warning : Kidnapping, Sexual Assault, Self-Harm, Stockholm Syndrome, PTSD, Panic Attacks

Jane Anonymous is the story about Jane, from Jane’s point of view in a Journal format writing “Then” & “Now”.
As the story has a “Now”, we immediately know all went well and I would have preferred it divided in first Then and second Now parts. Also because the story is given by Jane herself, she describes the relationship between her mother, and friend pretty well. But that same care I wasn’t able to see later in the chapters in “Now” part. and I felt so pity for Jane because she thought so high of them and they felt more like a people who taunt about things..

I was really spiraled by Jane’s time as a captive, it was so horrifying. Someone losing their independence and sitting in just a room for months.

There are also some twists in the story, but I had my doubts about those but still those came as more surprise when full story was revealed.

This was my first read by author Laurie Faria Stolarz, but am pretty sure I am gonna go and other published books by her.

Except I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I want to stat in the space between days-the space where I don’t have to worry about letting people down or saying the wrong thing.

Friendship is a two-way street, and I’ve been nothing but dead ends.

We’ve all carried our regret around like anchors, struggling not to drown.

Life isn’t a race. You go at your own pace, okay?

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ .25

Laurie Faria Stolarz grew up in Salem, MA, attended Merrimack College, and received an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College in Boston.

Laurie Faria Stolarz is an American author of young adult fiction novels, best known for her Blue is for Nightmares series. Her works, which feature teenage protagonists, blend elements found in mystery and romance novels.

Stolarz found sales success with her first novel, Blue is for Nightmares, and followed it up with three more titles in the series, White is for Magic, Silver is for Secrets, and Red is for Remembrance, as well as a companion graphic novel, Black is for Beginnings. Stolarz is also the author of the Touch series (Deadly Little Secret, Deadly Little Lies, Deadly Little Games, Deadly Little Voices, and Deadly Little Lessons), as well as Bleed and Project 17. With more than two million books sold worldwide, Stolarz’s titles have been named on various awards list.

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• Pop Sugar Challenge Prompt 1 : A book that’s published in 2020
• Goodreads Challenge 1/60

 

*I received an advance readers eBook copy of Jane Anonymous, as part of FFB Blog Tour via Netgalley in return of an honest review. The views are my own.
All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.*

Happy Fat : Taking up Space in a World That Wants to Shrink You

Book : Happy Fat
Author : Sofie Hagen
Pages : 336

Love Yourself, even if you are BIG FAT or VERY THIN.

My Thoughts

I am fat, and believe it or not I have been ALWAYS happy with my body. Even though I have heard too many of “You got to lose weight, check what you eat, it’s because you eat too much junk, being fat makes you prone to disease and early death”.
And I still haven’t done and nor will do anything for getting this weight, sheds, it can go like it came. I have been chubby since childhood and I am fine with it.

So I knew, I am gonna like this book so very much, which talks about How you can be Happy & Fat together.

Though the book has some very, very sad moments from Sofie’s life, and I can’t imagine myself in her shoes. Sofie has been brave enough to accept her body, and do so much publicly which she was afraid of. Hats off to her.  * I got teary on so many moment’s author shared of her life..*

I would love to recommend this book to people who are non-fat, because it will give them a perspective of how fat people go about through a day. And how you sometimes be just a jerk and say “mind your calories”. WE DON’T WANT YOU TO TELL US WHAT TO EAT !

There are so many lines that will surely struck the chord in your heart.
like

Part of me loathed the boys & girls who liked me, because surely they were either lying or horrible people themselves.

God, imagine if – and this goes for not just all people during your teenage years but essentially for all people in the world – imagine if people were just nice to each other.

Trying to shame people into being healthy is like trying to get someone to smell less of piss by pissing on them

Empathy should not be the hardest thing for people. But identifying which situations call for your empathy is different and a lot harder.

Another thing I liked about this part memoir by Sofie is how she brought other voices who are mostly ignored in form of Interviews. The perspective from LGBT+, & Color community is what makes this book a well researched and well thought book.

The author has checked on researches and came up with analyzed data on how BEING FAT doesn’t always mean we are more unhealthy than the thin ones.
A shared experience with doctors, how she and some other have faced the dilemma of not properly getting checked because the only visible reason was they “being fat”

Do we actually want for fat people to be healthy or do we want them to be ashamed?

Sofie also talks about the trolls, and I hate trolls, and meme makers (who laugh on risking others)
Sofie quoted “these trolls are sad people” , and I totally wish that to be true. Because you can’t make someone feel less and be happy about it. You have to have something less in your life to make others feel this way.

Final Note :

I liked it, though there are parts which can trigger people who are facing fat-phobia and for some it may feel repetitive. But believe me, it’s 24×7 what we generally go through so bear it and go through 320 pages.
You are not going to see the Comedian Sofie you know via social media, this is a Sofie that has gone thru this much to become “Comedian Sofie Hagen”.

Cover: 5/5
Title: 4/5
Blurb: 4/5
Theme: 5/5
Overall: 4.5/5

*-*-*-*-*-*-*Book Challenges*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Read this book, as part of
>> Pop Sugar Challenge Prompt 25 : A debut novel
>> Reading Women Challenge 2019 Prompt 21 : Book bought/borrowed in 2019
>> Write Tribe Reading Challenge Prompt 20 : A book which is a 2019 release
>> bnbreadathon May-June Prompt 1

The Broken Amoretti

Book : The Broken Amoretti
Author : Sudipto Das Aparajita Dutta
Pages : 296
Price : 380/-

In love nothing is right or wrong

Story

The novel is divided into two parts, WITH and WITHOUT. Both in reference to ? (you need to read it to know that 😉 )

WITH start’s with Parush, one of the protagnist (yes, ‘one of the’ because there are MANY) opens a diary. A Diary he hasn’t seen since long, a dairy that has a secret, world doesn’t know , a dairy that will unravel what LOVE is all about, a dairy that belongs to Parush’s ex love Bitasta’s mother, Panchali.

Saoli leaving her husband comes to India, to teach poetry at IIT KGP and is very much interested in subject related to Queer Theory. She meets Parushni who is also submitting her paper same day on Lesbianism.

How Saoli, get’s to know Parush and under what conditions?

Writing

This is my second read by author Sudipto Das, and I quite liked his The Aryabhatta Clan (the book had cryptic messages and a whole lot of thrill to decipher it).
The Blurb of The Broken Amoretti, gave me the same vibes, there will be a cryptic message and story will unravel it. However, I was disappointed in that a bit. I can’t review the story as whole, so I will divide it in two parts.

The Relevant :
I loved how the author started the setting up of characters, and their known/unknown love for a place called ‘prembajar’. There were references to great poets, and their poetries. The poetries were explained, giving the background of meter and everything. Which was new to me, and I liked it. This simply showed the research author did for getting these parts in the novel.

I loved how the author tried to fictionalize WHO was Panchali or stories about characters from Greek Mythology Artemis, Callisto and some more..

The story’s main aim was writing about how love has no boundaries and no gender, in a way that it was convincing. This was mainly done giving background’s of mythologies and many poetries.
But when I think back after completing it, it was just brushed up on the story. Later the story becomes something else, which makes me sad.

I loved the cover, it does have a deep meaning once you complete reading it.
The Random :
There were so many characters, each girl falling in love with Parush at some point. Why THOUGH? This was too cliche for me, and I didn’t like it. The love scene’s were written very shabby.

The story unraveled very soon, and felt like being dragged over many pages. The novel started with a mystery poem, went to the Love story of Parush and Batista, and then went straight out of context to gaming and the politics and what not. I felt trapped, and it was hard to follow why this was happening. And strangest of all, why did all the characters just end up at one place 😐 (too cliche again)

Final Note :

If the novel had been divided into three part’s instead of capturing too many good idea’s into one. I would have loved it, but the main motive of the novel felt lost in the first half the book. And came back in the last few pages back.

You can surely enjoy the book, if you are okay with subplots, and some cliches.
Poetry lovers will enjoy the first half of the book, because it is really well written. Gaming and technology enthusiast will love the second half of the book, because the story separately is very well written.

Cover: 4/5
Title: 3/5
Blurb: 2/5
Theme: 3/5
Story: 2/5
Characters: 1.5/5
Overall: 2.5/5

*-*-*-*-*-*-*Book Challenges*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Read this book, as part of
>> #bnbreadathon – Jul-Aug

6 Years Old

My blog turned 6 !!

I am a very bad parent, WHY ? Because I didn’t keep an eye on this one, as much as I wanted to.

6 years ago, when I started it. The aim was simple, to write what I desire to write, because I am good at writing and sharing when I am anonymous to the reader. I did that for 2 years, and then my work load took over, I didn’t get time to come here and pour in my thoughts for next 2 years (May 2015-May 2017). But soon, when I joined Bookstagram and started reviewing books on my blog (soon to be 2 years ago), the anonymity was taken over. As people “knew me”, and I wasn’t confident enough or may be I am too personal to share my “RAW” thoughts with them (know too people). So for a while I just posted Book reviews and nothing much.

But now as I enter my 6th year, I think I will start with my random mumbling again other than just book reviews. So YAAY!! for the new start 🙂

Comment and Congratulated me today at least. eh ??

 

PC: google

With Luv,
..mpsn..

The Soft Target

*image will be posted later*

Book : The Soft Target
Author : Kalyan Nanda
Pages : 202
Price : 249/-
Publication : Notion Press

Journey of Mohan, from boyhood to manhood.

Story

The story revolves around a boy named Mohan, he has a unique mental illness whose cure isn’t known to his parents yet. No one understands him, his teachers and fellow students come as bullies to him. Yet Mohan smiles to each one, says something and go away.
And after years of wait, they are ready to take Mohan to a specialist in Chennai, which will change him for sure.
But what will change to know that, you need to read the book.

It’s Mahashivratri, and Mohan’s mother had a dream about Shivji, to let her know to come to him and pray for Mohan’s success for his engineering exams.
Will the fate of Mahashivratri reap a good result for the family ?

Moving from his hometown to join an engineering college will change his life for forever.
Make sure you read Mohan’s life as a roller coaster thriller and heartfelt story is unrolled in front of you.

Writing

A debut book by author Kalyan Nanda, and what an effort. The book plot, and Mohan’s unique disability surely raise our interest more to the book.
The writing was easy to understand and there are many references used to connect with reader’s by talking about Dhoni finishing shot and Sachin’s slong shot (mostly in the first half of the book)
There were details even for the “things” in story to make them real life. for example, the explanation of the cooker in the first 10 around pages, that was made sure that it looked like a perfect cooker in respective of middle class families.then up again in the next 10 pages, about how a middle class man “gets ready”. Which I felt was a little too much may be, sometime in life most of us has come in from a Middle class family, and reading such things made me think it is used as a mockery instead of showing how one Middle class family lives.

This will be my first book,where author himself has a talk in his own book. He talks to readers about a certain situation(Dear Readers…).
I almost had feeling like “Main Samay hun”(remember ? A man aura used to come in Mahabharat’s TV)

The friendship between Mohan, Nikhil, Brij & later Revathy was amazing to read about.
The main characters were BIG time “flawed”, and I loved them because they felt real.
Mohan – A boy with unique mental illness, and exceptional IQ who solved “the” maze
Nikhil – Wealthy boy having everything yet nothing because he stammers
Brij – The comedy kid of the book, a fan of Salman khan(from Tere Naam)
Samidha – <won’t tell you what her relation is> But she is one of my favorite characters, because she said my most favorite line of the book “I want to be your Café Madras”

I love when Books, talks about other books and authors, and I haven’t read ‘PG Wodehouse’ yet, but this book surely has increased my interest in him.

I wish the cover was something else, as it doesn’t justify the content and deepness of the plot of book.

Also if you read it, would love to know your theory of who the actual Soft target is 😉 as the book end with that question too!

Final Note:

If you want to read a book that is different from cliché stories, grab this one up.

Cover: 1/5(really wish it was something much more)
Title: 4/5
Blurb: 3.5/5 (as it reveals too much)
Theme: 5/5
Story: 4/5
Characters: 5/5
Overall: 3.7/5

*This book review is a part of The ReadersComsos Book Review Program and Blog Tours*

Jallianwala Bagh: Literary Responses in Prose & Poetry

Book : Jallianwala Bagh: Literary Responses in Prose & Poetry
Author : Rakhshanda Jalil
Pages : 227 pages
Edition : Hardcover
Price : 386/-

Even though History wasn’t anywhere near my favorite subjects in School, one event that had always haunted me since childhood was/is Jallianwala Bagh Massacre.
We all must have read about it in our history classes, but I never knew the backstory of Marcella Sherwood, or the crawl on your bellies Acts. We all knew, a madman named General Dyer gave his men orders to shoot on people who had assembled without any weapon to talk about THEIR NATION.

It’s 100 YEARS TODAY!

About Book

This book is divided into two part’s first talks about all those amazing fictional work written around the Event. You can read translated work of Saadat Hasan Manto, Khwaja Ahmad Abbas, Mulk Raj Anand and many more.
Each story, giving us different details of what happened on that evening.
I loved reading (snippet of) Massacre at Jallianwala Bagh by Stanley Wolpert, which talks about the committee of inquiry that was set on General Dyer for the Massacre. Though the final verdict didn’t make this book, but I surely now want to read the original.

Second part consists of those amazing weapon words in form of Poetry. As the massacre took place in Amritsar, there are many translated poems from Punjabi and some from Urdu.
Though I feel, some of them had left the essence of being a poem in translation but the core feeling still remains, the pain still remains.

Final Note:

Recommended to each one, to know the history of this day when a massacre ripped opened Mother earth on Baishaki (marks the beginning of the harvest season and birth of the Khalsa). The book actually opened my eyes on too many blinded spots I had as a child (e.g. the Marcella Sherwood, the crawl on your bellies Acts)

Any historical book is so difficult to rate, and this is no different.

Overall: 4.6/5★ (not 5 because poetry did let me down a bit)

I would like to thank Niyogi books, to send me a review copy in return of an honest review.

 

Kingdom Cold

Book : Kingdom Cold
Author : Brittni Chenelle
Pages : 278 pages
Edition : Kindle
Price : 212.00/-

YA with Thrill, Adventure and twist and turns.

Story

The story starts with Princess Charlotte, and her parents talking about getting Princess married off to Prince of another side for saving the kingdom and Princess denying to marry ‘any one’, as it’s too early. (she is 16, of course it is too early). On the other side, Prince Young of Vires is in a dilemma is it fine to marry because of political agreements.

As the time pass, will they both change their mind or will fall in love ever?

Before the Big moment occurs (which was exactly a day after the start of the story I guess), Kingdom of Besmium is attacked and Prince Young and his elder brother Prince Minseo try to win over the sudden attack.

Will they make out safe ? Will they win over ?

Who is Prince Emmett? Why he tries to protect the Princess and Besmium Kingdom?
Read the novel to know all about it

Writing

I love reading new Authors, and some of them amaze me with their novel. Brittni Chenelle is one of them, I picked the novel because of the Blurb which looks more like a simple YA read. But it has so much more to offer with its the twists & turns.
Language used is simple, and easy to understand.

The story is written from multiple POV’s, and even though I loved the smooth transformation from chapter to chapter. As each chapter starts from where the earlier one left, but another character’s POV. Only issue, I found in POV’s where there was no differentiation was the characters tones/talking. They were read same way.

Character development can be seen between the first time(when they were introduced), and last time(when they were read). But there was no specific development as the character grew, except Princess Charlotte. She reminded me so much of Merida (from Brave), the way she said No on marriage proposal, was childish, and grew brave from whatever happened to her.

I am in love with Prince Young, and he is definitely my latest fictional CRUSH♥♥. The way he handles situations, with his presence of mind is amazing. He has got charm of a prince, and believe me when I say, he doesn’t behave much like a Prince. He adapts to situations well, and before thinking of himself, he thinks of ‘people he love more’ (depends on situation we are talking 😉 ) I still laugh when I remember **spoiler** the First night of Prince Young and Princess Charlotte

This single book, contains exactly 3 books. I am seriously telling this, it could have been easily converted to a series, and there were so many points where Author could have stopped on a happy ending. But author chooses to give us twists, and twists, and THE END.
Though author Brittni, says she is working on another novel. Which will have characters from this novel, and will not be exactly a series, but will be a sequel to this one.

The end actually feels like MORE to be seen.

Final Note:

If you want to start reading YA, this one is super good to start with. YA Lovers will love it too, also it has twists and many adventures.

Cover: 5/5
Title: 4/5
Blurb: 4/5
Theme: 5/5
Story: 4/5
Characters: 4/5
Overall: 4.3/5

*Thanks to author for providing review copy in return of an honest review. All views are my personal, and nowhere affected by receiving it from author.*

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*Book Challenges*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Read this book, as part of
>> #leastreader_nb : Feb Prompt : Read a love story
>> #popSugarChallenge Prompt 26 : Book published in 2019
>> #readinWomenChallenge : Prompt 18 : Romance or love story
>> #BTBFEBRUARY19 : Feb 14 : Cover love

When I Had a Little Sister

Book : When I Had a Little Sister: The Story of a Farming Family Who Never Spoke
Author : Catherine Simpson
Pages : 367
Price : 1,158.00/-
Publication : Fourth Estate

Sad memoir written by authoress Catherine about her sister Tricia.

Story

The story starts with room view of Tricia, 46 years old, after she died. Her cigarette’s found in the bathroom, because that was the only place she allowed herself to smoke, to have a healthy life.

“When did she decide to die? Was it before midnight on Friday the 6^th, because she couldn’t face another night, or was it before dawn on Saturday the 7^th, because she couldn’t face another day?’

A question that makes the author think about how mental illness of her baby sister has finally made her choose death over living an unhappy life. Catherine started writing this family memoir on a fellowship at Hawthornden Castle in 2016 (three years after Tricia died).

Read the book to know the story of how a family kept mum about the taboos of mental illness and other social norms.

Writing

When I had a little sister is so personal to Catherine, and yet hats off to her for going through this experience and coming out as a winner (writer). The amount of memories author has shared may sometimes look like very descriptive, and in my case I felt wasn’t needed. But as this is from personal experience, the author made sure she covers everything from the way she felt.

The author talks a lot about her Mother, and it felt like she was still angry with her for all the part she played in “Growing them up”. There are sentences like ‘I was here and she was not’, that author said after her mother died and she got to see the jewellery box and everything that their mother have never let them touch. I was sadden at such references, being grown up with a close-knit family I feel sorry for the author and her sisters that they didn’t get the love they deserve.

Furthermore, in the story she talks about ancestors, who have moved after World War I and how the property and things in them (bed and other stuff) that were kept from generations of belonging year after year, needed to be destroyed and get away from. This saddens me again, because I live for “Old is Gold”, but at the same time having such things that can bring back sad memories are good to let go.

It was only later part in the book, that author has talked about Tricia and her going through mental illness. The way she was drawn towards people, and withdrew herself from them soon enough without a reason. There were times, when I could see/feel that Tricia wanted to say so much, but there was no one to understand here silence, and sometimes words. She kept away from here loved ones, and her loved ones left here alone too. In my experience, and what I know a person with mental illness is weaker at such points, when they want a company and there is no one to talk or share their thoughts with. Catherine, the author herself says that she wanted to reach out to Tricia but her kids (one of them are with special needs), and her own mental health didn’t allow her to do so.

I will again say, it is very brave of Catherine, the author that she has come out with a book that will help people who still think that mental illness is something to keep mum about. It’s about time that our educated people and kids that they can come and talk to their elders about anything and everything if they feel like it. Mental illness should be treated as another health issue, and not a thing with “give it time, it will be all okay”. It won’t be, talk to someone if you feel your mood swings a lot, talk to someone if you have dark thoughts.

I may not be the correct person to say this, but I guess this book can trigger to people who suffer through the same. Because it’s just so sad, made me cry for Tricia and her family.

Final Note:

It’s difficult to review and read a sad memoir by someone who has gone through a lot herself. And rate it on any scale, is like to rate someone’s life and what they have gone through.
Pick this one up, if you want to read something that talks about how families can be, and what mental illness can do to a person/family if not taken care beforehand.

Overall: 3.5/5

*Thanks to publishers for providing review copy in return of an honest review.*